http://www.twitter.com/kegger18Tumblr (3.0; @kegger)http://iwishiwasfunny.com/<p>(11:07:31 PM) Jimmy McKeague: so I went out to the local Borders tonight to buy the newest issue of GQ<br/> (11:08:03 PM) Jimmy McKeague: wait in line…total comes to $9.99….I’m thinking okay seems a lil high but maybe the price has gone up so I think nothing of it and continue to check out<br/> (11:08:32 PM) Jimmy McKeague: get home…and take a closer look at the cover and it’s some muslim dude I’ve never heard of….okay cool…maybe Pakistan has some hip stuff goin’ on<br/> (11:08:56 PM) Jimmy McKeague: look down at the tag on the bottom bcuz the issue is sealed in plastic….and yep, that’s right…I def bought the Indian version of GQ<br/> (11:09:49 PM) Jimmy McKeague: which I will be taking back first thing tomorrow morning and exchanging for the white people version…seriously, who knew they made a GQ Indian issue?! I mean it had George Clooney on the back cover…I figured it was all good.</p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/341287058http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/341287058Mon, 18 Jan 2010 13:14:12 -0600<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kukvaffp2H1qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Christmas decorations are officially up around the house! And in 15 days they will come down again and get stuffed in the crawl space till next year. Who doesn’t enjoy the holidays?!</p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/281313419http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/281313419Sun, 13 Dec 2009 00:27:51 -0600<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kui0toI1cs1qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Patrick ‘20 Cent’ Kane returns to Buffalo tonight after his summer arrest for a five minute fighting penalty with a cab driver. Unfortunately, my Comcast cable has decided to head into hibernation for the winter. After calling Comcast to get someone out to fix my cable, I received the response ‘Mister, do you know how cold it it? It’s damn freezin’ out der.” Thanks for stating the obvious - perhaps this is why you answer a phone for the better part of ten hours of your day.</p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/279140581http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/279140581Fri, 11 Dec 2009 11:34:36 -0600<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kug6tfmY691qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Just ordered new hockey jerseys for our upcoming Iron Man tournament. Team Name: <b>High Society</b></p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/277747447http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/277747447Thu, 10 Dec 2009 11:48:51 -0600<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kueoyaaxtv1qzyyauo1_250.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><b>THIS JUST IN! BASS PRO SHOP IS SELLING CAMO LINGERIE!<br/></b></p> <p><b>1.) If it’s dark in the bedroom and the lights are out how the f are you supposed to see anything?!</b></p> <p><b>2.) If they’re selling this at Bass Pro Shop they better have them in MUCH larger sizes…<br/></b></p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276604681http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276604681Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:25:18 -0600<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kueff2gJkf1qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><b>Important tip for a girl to follow…</b></p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276390813http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276390813Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:59:25 -0600<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kuef60DCn31qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><b>Wrigley Field is set to open their outdoor ice rink December 15th. Let’s think about this for a minute…there are at least 30 bars around that area where people are getting trashed from sunrise to sunset. The fights that occur on this rink after a day of getting tipsy are going to be so good they should be on pay-per-view! Thank you Wrigley Field and the Chicago Park District!</b></p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276385989http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276385989Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:53:59 -0600<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kueepasjU01qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><b>I’ve figured out how to be rich…<br/></b></p> <p><b>I will open a screen print t-shirt shop in the Jersey Shore…<br/></b></p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276376938http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276376938Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:43:00 -0600<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kueej6ZDER1qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><b>Let’s play guess the year this woman last saw her toes.<br/>JD Power & Associates gave this woman’s personal airbag a 5-star rating.</b></p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276373689http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276373689Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:40:00 -0600<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kueee2KYkJ1qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><b>I fail to see what’s wrong with the advice…Seems like the author gives some great points for getting the car started again. Perhaps a AAA membership might help her in the future.</b></p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276370701http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/276370701Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:37:14 -0600<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kuapqb7hzM1qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><b>I’m coaching 6-8 year old Mites for St. Judes Hockey. You haven’t seen or heard anything till you hear a 7 year old drop an M-F’er at the kid on the other team that just stole their puck. Epic.</b></p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/273457891http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/273457891Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:51:00 -0600<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kuapbjU2Vy1qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><b>Whatcha gonna do brotha when Steeger’s OT goal runs wild on you?!</b></p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/273450437http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/273450437Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:42:00 -0600<object width="400" height="336"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ICi3kIzSIZg&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ICi3kIzSIZg&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="336" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>1986 Talladega 500 Pace Car is stolen and driven around the track before the race. F’n rednecks.</p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240909876http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240909876Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:33:00 -0600<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksz0ft74XG1qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>My lunch box from grade school…</p> <p>Wait a second…There was a black dude in Ghostbusters? I assume he’s the one that carried all their proton packs and chauffeured everyone around in Ecto-1, right?</p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240852402http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240852402Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:38:00 -0600<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksyoqyfB1G1qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I don’t cook. At all. But now that I’ve discovered this hidden treasure I might just have to start. Think pre-historic George Foreman. Apparently the fine folks at Sears that have brought us trusty Die Hard batteries and an abundance of Timberland boots bring us the Jiffy Burger Cooker that produces a delicious hamburger patty in 1-3 minutes. 1 to 3 MINUTES!?! That’s about the time it will take for you to die after you eat something made from this death grill.</p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240605890http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240605890Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:25:00 -0600<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksyomuSKzn1qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Obviously the Christmas of 1989 was very good to me. This sick Batman sled combined with my authentic Ghostbusters Jumpsuit made me undoubtedly the coolest cat in the 1st grade.</p> <p><b>**Take note of the thin white wire holding the steering wheel on. Thanks Dad for looking out for your young son’s safety by attaching a clearly broken steering wheel on a sled with a wire resembling a piece of thin dental floss</b><b>.**</b></p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240603666http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240603666Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:23:00 -0600<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksyojrKWG01qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>My first set of wheels…I know it’s not much, but it sure beats that piece of shit you drove when you were 4 years old. You know the milfs were getting hot when I came pedaling around the cul-de-sac.</p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240601961http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240601961Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:21:27 -0600<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksylppYzCv1qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Princess Smart Belles. <b>WTF is this woman wearing?! </b>It looks like a giant red singlet a junior high wrestler would wear. Not only can you count every single one of her rubs, but you could spot that cameltoe from halfway across the gym. If they’re going to use the word <i>Princess</i> in the title I would at least appreciate an endorsement from the likes of Princess Leia or even the Pop Princess herself, Madonna (also strange that Madonna doesn’t raise a concern through spellcheck).</p> <p>Perhaps if my mother would’ve taken these out of the box when she purchased them back in 1981, she wouldn’t require weekly meetings with Jenny Craig and their crack staff who for some reason or another make it a point to call our house during breakfast, lunch, and dinner.</p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240548361http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240548361Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:20:00 -0600<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksylm1OGD21qzyyauo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Cleaning out the attic this afternoon. Talk about a major mistake. Look at some of this junk. The best part is I received explicit instructions from my parents <b>NOT </b>to throw out the Christmas plastics. Tacky decorations <b>MIGHT </b>make a comeback. Who wouldn’t want a 6lb 8oz Baby Jesus set imported from Italy. Are you serious? And then there are the life size carolers…whose head was stolen during the Christmas of ‘86 and the only suitable replacement head resembles that of something from the movie Beetle Juice. Awesome.</p>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240546478http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/240546478Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:18:00 -0600<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksxhyfEKiG1qzyyauo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/239926827http://iwishiwasfunny.com/post/239926827Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:01:27 -0600